Another Excerpt from My Stupid, Embarrassing Life:
Doing his best to maintain good posture or, at the very least, avoid melting into the computer screen, he racked his brain to try and come up with what he must have said or done to make everyone mad at him.
“A Toddlers and Tiaras dubstep remix? How could I be so crass?” he thought as he clicked the link that drew no response from even the friendliest of his IM buddies. Video silence was not enough. If he wanted a testicles’ chance on Reddit’s front page at understanding the deep emotional pain he surely inflicted, he would have to subject himself once again to the grinding, wobbly sadness he decided to share with those even he, in his infinite inversion, would consider people he sometimes hangs out with from work.
Alas, it was a different video. He unclenched his perpetually clicking jaw, opened a Tumblr tab of relief, and listened to the “sure-fire hit” sounds of Scottish men placing ferrets down their sweatpants. “I guess it is I the one that’s mad,” he nearly posted before realizing it did not make sense.
“Not even the least bit, honey boo-boo child.”
Alas, it was a different video. He unclenched his perpetually clicking jaw, opened a Tumblr tab of relief, and listened to the “sure-fire hit” sounds of Scottish men placing ferrets down their sweatpants. “I guess it is I the one that’s mad,” he nearly posted before realizing it did not make sense.
“Not even the least bit, honey boo-boo child.”
